Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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