remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize