Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
soo... how was my night?
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