Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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