So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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