And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We are all done wearing pants today
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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