Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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