I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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