she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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