Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize