I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize