theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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