I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
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No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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