Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize