I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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