So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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