I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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