We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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