After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
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Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
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I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Drunk is not a location!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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