I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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