No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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