I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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