did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize