well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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