i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am naked and annoyed.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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