i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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