....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
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I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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