Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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