LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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