Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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