Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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