Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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