I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize