Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just puked most of my soul out..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize