does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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