I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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