batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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