Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize