woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize