why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize