Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize