Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize