He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
my liver is dry heaving
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize