I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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