i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
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I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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