summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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