A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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