I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
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I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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