dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize