I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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